MONTHS OF SHORT STORIES

A Writing Update.

I have always been a novelist. There’s something about developing characters, big ideas and plenty of scenes. I tried poetry, and well it ain’t my forte. While I can write a poem and sometimes they can be good, I don’t think they’re anything to be published or shared. I just can’t understand the rules. For me poetry writing is just fun, a way to get out those indulgent images. Short stories though? I had never really thought of them before, until maybe a year ago. Now they seem to be taking over my time and documents. Pages and pages of random ideas or outlines.

Ask any creative writing teacher or writer themselves, they will say that to build a profile, to succeed in becoming a writer, the key is short stories. A lot of them. Get them wrote and sent out, monthly if you can.

I was speaking with my creative writing lecturer a couple of months ago and he told me if I want to be a writer I need to take it more seriously. Of course, I take writing very, very seriously. I have dedicated my whole life to it. So, while he didn’t mean I had to take writing more seriously, he meant I had to take myself as a writer more seriously. That I had to send those stories off.

I am a person riddled with insecurity and not just in my writing; in fact I would say writing is the place I feel most confident. But as an unpublished writer, I do feel slightly insecure and lost. My lecturer’s words hit me. I am stuck because I’m not taking myself seriously; what’s the good of having half drafted short stories or ideas if they are going to collect pixel dust on my computer.

Since then I have vowed to work on short stories and send as many out as I can. I even have a list of magazines and open submissions, talk about serious. Short stories are my new priority, my oxygen some may say.

Over the past few months (up to today as I’m writing this) I have submitted three short stories. Two being old pieces that I edited, and one being a complete new story based of a prompt which I actually submitted yesterday.

I’m a slow writer, often finding myself overwhelmed or unable to get more than a couple of hundred words down at a time, so by writing to submission deadlines I have found that I am unable to churn out a short story draft in one. A short story takes me a lot longer than I had expected.

In my nifty little submission call list I have included the dates, very smart of me I know, and this month I realised that three are extremely close together. As I said I can be a slow writer so this definitely had me a little worried. It was the first time I had to choose which submissions to go with, which I wanted more, which I actually had ideas for. So, with a heavy heart I had to ignore one of the anthologies, one with may I add a stunning cover. But this is what being a writer is, we can’t be having our writing fingers in too many project pies. The stories we create from that will be half-assed with no passion or creativity. I’m making this all sound so dramatic, trust me I wasn’t crying about it, but something about wanting to submit and then understanding my craft and its limitations, and then making a critical decision kind of made me feel a bit proud. A bit like I am taking this serious. That making the critical decision meant the taboo was broken.

The scary thing about sending out stories especially as an unpublished writer is the doubt. I know I have already spoke about insecurity but this is more about being seen. I’m scared of my stories being seen and the story not being good enough, or something I might not be 100% about in a few years time, especially as a debut story. I am what some may describe as a die hard perfectionist when it comes to my craft. But I guess that’s the point of writing, evolving and doubt. Everyone has doubt. I need to ignore Miss Doubt and just try and improve every time. If it ain’t good they won’t accept it, and that isn’t bad either! Improve!

But while I am infected with doubt, I am also so so curious. I have been checking my email every hour of everyday, how do people live waiting this long? The anticipation is killing me, maybe even literally.

So it is obvious I am prioritising short stories which means this novelist is currently a sort of on holiday novelist. I haven’t really worked on my projects, well on anything more than a dumpster fire outline, which is making me miss them. I feel behind, how can I publish a novel if I don’t have a novel? So, after these next batch of short stories are in the submission ether, be known I’m coming back to you novels. You will not be neglected any longer.

However, writing this post I have realised that short stories are actually teaching me a lot about novels. They are making me work towards an official deadline, fit a full story in a short designated word count, create a routine, prioritise writing and keep my mind active. Short stories are the space for me to experiment and develop my craft. Recently I have definitely wanted to do that.

So now I guess I am a short story writer??? A short story writer and novelist, wow look at her all grown up. I’m sorry for all the short story writing content that will now plague The Morbid Heart.

Watch this space, before you know it I’ll be telling you I have something published! And then I’ll never shut up.

OR